A House of Dreams and Hopes
by Ailendolin
Summary: Spoilers and AU for ACoK: There are many different realities. In this one, Loras has the chance to change his fate and built a future with Renly. RenlyxLoras
1. The Knight of Flowers

**Title: **A House of Dreams and Hopes

**Author: **Ailendolin

**Rating: **T (PG-13) … just to be sure.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything in this story. The setting and characters in this story belong to George R.R. Martin and I do not make any profit with this and mean no disrespect.

**Summary: **Spoilers and AU for ACoK: There are many different realities. In this one, Loras has the chance to change his fate and built a future with Renly. RenlyxLoras

**Word Count: **2735

**Warning: **Spoilers for ACoK, AU

**Author's Notes: **This story has been in my head ever since I read ACoK last year. It's basically my attempt to give Loras and Renly a chance at a happy ending without any shadow babies in their way. I see this as a what-if kind of story, set in a parallel universe. I more or less go with the looks of show Renly and Loras here, though the characters are mostly my own interpretation of the book versions.  
>The whole story is already written and consists of six chapters from four different POVs with a length of roughly 16,000 words. I'll probably post a chapter a day.<br>And last but not least: I'm from Germany and am not a native English speaker. I proofread my stories several times to eliminate as many mistakes as possible before I post them online, but I don't have a beta, so please don't hesitate to point out any mistakes you find. And if some would like to beta this, I'd be more than happy ;-)  
>Now, on with the first chapter. I hope you'll enjoy it!<p>

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><p><strong>A House of Dreams and Hopes<strong>

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><p><strong>The Knight of Flowers<strong>

When Renly asked him to stay and help him pray, Ser Loras had felt at peace for the first time since the parley with Stannis that had taken place that morning. He still could not understand why Renly had chosen Brienne and even Catelyn Stark to accompany him and had left him, the Lord Commander of his Rainbow Guard, behind. That decision had hurt, more than Loras cared to admit, but he was old enough not to argue with Renly in front of the king's bannermen.

Even though he held the highest position in Renly's own version of the Kingsguard he felt discarded and set aside. Not for the first time Loras asked himself why Renly seemed to favor Brienne all of a sudden, taking her with him to important meetings, voicing the desire for her to dress him for battle the next day. By rights those should be Loras's duties. The obvious answer to his question left Loras feeling bitter: Renly seemed to trust Brienne a great deal more than Loras to keep him safe from his foes.

_Just because she's taller than me and bested me in one tournament doesn't mean she's the better knight_, Loras thought angrily. He liked Brienne, even admired her for choosing such a difficult path for herself and excelling in it. What he did not like, however, was her apparent crush on Renly. The devotion for their king made her a more than a good enough guard, but it also made Loras wary of her. He did not truly believe that Brienne the Beauty would be any serious competition for him, especially not with his own sister Margaery married to Renly, but no one had ever said jealousy was a logical emotion. And if Loras had become an expert on any emotion in the last few weeks, it was jealousy.

"What are you thinking about?" Renly murmured into his ear. His voice was deep and low and sent shivers down Loras's spine.

"Nothing," Loras replied. He closed his eyes, savoring the feeling of having Renly so close. Since the day Renly had declared himself rightful king to the Iron Throne their time together had grown scarce. While the position of the Lord Commander of the Rainbow Guard allowed Loras to be close to his lover at all times there were almost always other people around Renly; his bannermen, his cupbearers, other members of the Guard or camp visitors like Catelyn Stark demanding an audience. Private time between them was now a rare and precious thing to Loras. It was something that he had learned to appreciate and treasure, especially since Renly's marriage to Margaery.

Sweet, young, innocent, beautiful Margaery. Loras loved his sister dearly, but he wished his father had never proposed to marry her to Renly to strengthen the alliance between Highgarden and Storm's End. He was aware of every touch she shared with Renly, of every glance, and tried not to feel threatened by any of it. His head knew that Renly had no feelings for Margaery and that the whole marriage was just for show, but his heart still yearned to be the one Renly could publicly claim. Whenever he saw his lover and his sister together something clenched painfully in his chest, telling him that their smiles and touches were a little too familiar to be an act, and he felt like weeping for losing the love of his life bit by bit, day by day a little more; if not to Margaery, then at least to the Iron Throne.

"Something troubles you," Renly stated quietly. He started massaging Loras's shoulders. "You're tense. What's wrong?"

Loras sighed heavily and gathered up the courage to ask the one question that had been troubling him all day. "Why did you take Brienne with you to the parley?" The '_and not me'_ went unspoken.

Renly turned Loras around in his arms and frowned. "That's what's troubling you? Why I chose her and not you?" When Loras only bowed his head and kept staring at the floor, Renly shook his head in fond exasperation. "I didn't take you for the jealous kind, my dear Loras," he said, sounding amused.

Loras looked up and glared at him, hating how Renly found out the truth so easily but did not take it seriously. "If you're just going to make fun of me I might as well go." It was the last thing he wanted to do.

"Loras," Renly said softly and drew him into a gentle and loving embrace, cradling him like he was the most precious thing in all of Westeros. It had been days since they had shared an embrace like that, just enjoying the other's presence. Those moments had grown few and far in between since the marriage. "I'm sorry for making fun of you. And I'm sorry for not taking you with me. Had I known that my decision would hurt you I'd have had you accompany me instead of Brienne." He placed a kiss into Loras's curls and held him tighter. "Never doubt that I want you by my side. The only reason for taking Brienne instead of you was to give her a chance to prove herself, and to give you a chance to rest. You haven't slept well the last few days."

Loras nodded against Renly's shoulder. "I've had nightmares," he admitted quietly.

"Want to talk about them?"

Loras shrugged. "There's not much to talk about. They're fuzzy at best, full of shadows and blood and screams."

Renly loosened the embrace slightly so he could look into Loras's eyes. "You should at least try to get some sleep tonight. Maybe those nightmares are just the manifestation of nerves before battle."

"Maybe," Loras said, not entirely convinced. The dreams were all the same, never changing but getting clearer with each new night. Sometimes the shadow looked much too real to be merely a dream. Its form shifted, sometimes looking like Margaery, other times like Robert and once even like Loras himself, but the nights Loras woke up screaming it looked eerily like Stannis. Some part of Loras wanted to tell Renly all about those dreams and his doubts and fears, but another part did not want to worry his king with what most likely would turn out to be just common nightmares, albeit weird ones.

"I don't suppose you will be able to join me?" Loras asked without much hope.

Renly kissed him, slowly and gently. "I'm sorry. There's still so much to plan for tomorrow's – or I guess it's today's now – battle."

"I know," Loras said. And he did. Nights spent with Renly had become even rarer than just spending time together. Sometimes Loras wished that Renly had never declared himself king, that they could have stayed forever at Storm's End and simply be happy and content with what they had.

"I will come and wake you in the morning, how does that sound?" Renly asked with a smile.

"Will I get a good morning kiss?"

"Of course," Renly laughed. "And a kiss goodnight as well."

He leaned forward and this time Loras was ready for the kiss. He met Renly halfway, tangled his hands in Renly's dark hair and closed his eyes, banishing all thoughts of doubts and shadows from his mind until only devotion and love and Renly remained. Afterwards, they leaned their foreheads together and smiled, staying in this stolen moment a little while longer.

It was Renly who pulled back first, his face showing his regret. "Goodnight, Loras," he said and pressed one last lingering kiss to the corner of Loras's mouth. "I will see you in the morning."

Loras nodded and left the tent, his heart feeling lighter and heavier at the same time. It was just a few steps to his own tent, erected beside the king's. When he stood in front of the entrance he glanced back towards Renly's flickering shadow on the tent wall, bent over the desk and looking at some parchments. A sudden urge to go back overcame him, a feeling of foreshadowing and dread that he could not explain. Resolutely, he took a step forward and entered his own smaller tent, putting Renly and those feelings behind him.

He tried to clear his mind, knowing that Renly was right about him needing rest. Without bothering to unfasten his cloak or change his clothes or even step out of his boots Loras lay down on the small cot that functioned as his bed. The lights of the candles made his armor in the corner shine and the flowers on it almost looked like they were swaying in a gentle summer's breeze. The sight calmed Loras and soon lulled him into sleep.

_The dream was painfully clear this time. Where things and people had only been blurry the nights before, now everything was sharp and alive. There is Renly, standing in his tent. There is Brienne the Blue, dressing him for battle. There is also the Lords Mathis and Randyll, urging Renly to attack at once. And in comes Catelyn Stark, and the lords leave. She proposes something, an idea Renly obviously doesn't like. And then there is the shadow, moving along the tent walls, feeling so much like Stannis that Loras's heart seems to stop for a moment. And in the end there is blood, and Renly is choking and Brienne is holding him while he is dying. Dying. The realization strikes and now Loras's heart stills truly. _

He woke up with a hoarse scream, drenched in sweat, heart not still after all but beating rapidly, furiously inside his chest. Without thinking he flung himself out of bed. Ignoring his shining armor but picking up his sword, Loras ran the few paces to Renly's tent. One look at the two Guards and they let him pass and suddenly he stood before his lover, his king, breathing heavily and searching the tent for shadows with wide eyes.

"Loras?" Renly turned around, and behind him Loras could see Brienne laying out Renly's armor. "I thought you'd be sleeping." His tone was slightly admonishing and so alive and well that Loras felt tears sting his eyes.

"You've got to get away from here," Loras said, eyes silently begging Renly to understand and to just come with him and not ask any questions. Instead, Renly frowns.

"What? What are you talking about?"

"My dreams. Or nightmares," Loras tried to explain. "I had one again, only this time it was clear as daylight what was going on. We have to get you as far away as possible from this place, Renly, or you will die."

Renly looked at him oddly for a moment before he laughed. "And who, pray tell, will be my assassin, oh wise Loras who can see the future in his dreams?"

Loras looked at him incredulously. He was dimly aware of Brienne staring at them intently as he crossed the distance between him and Renly. "There will be a shadow, and it looks like Stannis and it will slit your throat. Please, Renly, we have to leave!"

Renly shook his head, no longer looking amused. "I've stopped being afraid of shadows a long time ago, Loras. No shadow can kill a man. You only had a bad dream."

Helplessly, Loras watched as Renly turned back towards the scrolls on his desk, effectively dismissing him. He could not believe that Renly would not listen, and panic began to grip him. There had to be a way to persuade his lover.

He was taken aback when Brienne spoke up. "Your Grace?" she asked. "Perhaps it would be wise to listen to Ser Loras. Sometimes dreams and visions do come true, and even if Ser Loras had just an ordinary nightmare, I'd feel more comfortable if we were cautious and relocated you to a safer place for the night."

Loras stared at Brienne in surprise. He had not expected to find an ally in her but was glad nonetheless. She nodded at him when he locked eyes with her. Renly, however, seemed not inclined to listen and stared at them disbelievingly.

"I won't leave my camp on the eve of probable battle because of shadow dreams. How do you think that is going to look, hm? I must inspire courage and faith and I can't do that while running away from imaginary monsters, now can I? That's not the way to win the Iron Throne."

"But it's the way to save your life, Renly! And your life is worth more than some stupid throne made of swords!" Loras declared in a voice choked with emotion.

Renly narrowed his eyes and took a step towards Loras, and for the first time since he had known the Lord of Storm's End Loras was afraid of him. He found himself taking an involuntary step backwards when Renly said quietly, "I think it's time you leave, Ser Loras. Your presence here is no longer required."

Loras's breath caught in his throat. "But-", he wanted to protest. Renly cut across him. "No buts, Ser. Leave. I will hear no more of these ridiculous shadow dreams."

With that, Renly turned around and before Loras could really think it through he grabbed the empty pitcher of water on the table and hit Renly over the head with it. The king crumbled and Loras caught him just in time before his head could hit the ground. Breath coming in ragged gasps it took Loras a moment to realize what he had just done, and his whole body started trembling in shock. Luckily he had not wounded Renly so much as to draw blood.

A shadow fell over him and his hand immediately went to his sword but it was only Brienne who was crouching down beside him. "You hit him," she said.

"It was the only way," Loras whispered, desperately needing her to understand. "He wouldn't listen."

Brienne looked at him for a long moment, then she said, "I believe you did the right thing, Ser Loras. I'll have your horse saddled."

Loras nodded gratefully and watched her step out of the tent to call for a squire. It did not take her long to come back. "Your mare should be ready in a few minutes."

"Thank you, Brienne. For everything." He sighed and stared down at the unconscious king in his arms. "Gods, what have I done? Chances are that Renly's right and all this is a stupid waste of time that may cost me everything."

She looked at him, her face hard and stern but her eyes were full of compassion. "But we cannot take the chance that His Grace is wrong," she said. "It is our duty to protect him. If need be, even from himself."

Loras smiled at her, for the first time seeing beyond her looks and his own jealousy the true worth of the woman before him. It was like a veil was being lifted from his eyes. "He was right to give you a Rainbow Cloak. I didn't see it before but I can see it now."

Before Brienne could reply a voice from outside announced that Loras's horse was ready. Carefully, Loras picked Renly up. He was grateful that Brienne had not yet had the chance to dress their king in his armor or Loras's task would have been near impossible. Renly was almost too heavy for Loras to carry as it was. Together they stepped outside the tent and Brienne helped him place Renly onto the mare and held him upright while Loras mounted the horse behind him.

Only now, seated behind Renly, did Loras look around. Various people were looking at them curiously, some even pointing at them and whispering towards each other, and it was clear that there was no going back now. "Lady Brienne," Loras addressed her, "please make sure that the camp gets packed up and moving as soon as possible. I will ride with the king towards Bitterbridge as long as Ivy will carry us. We shall wait for you and the rest somewhere along the way."

"Understood," Brienne said. "Good luck, Ser Loras."

He nodded at her, and with that, Loras strengthened his grip around Renly's waist and urged his white mare forward, away from the camp and into the dark of night. He just hoped he had made the right decision and would not regret it in the morning.


	2. The Maid of Tarth

**Title: **A House of Dreams and Hopes

**Author: **Ailendolin

**Rating: **T (PG-13) … just to be sure.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything in this story. The setting and characters in this story belong to George R.R. Martin and I do not make any profit with this and mean no disrespect.

**Summary: **Spoilers and AU for ACoK: There are many different realities. In this one, Loras has the chance to change his fate and built a future with Renly. RenlyxLoras

**Word Count: **2343

**Warning: **Spoilers for ACoK, AU

**Author's Notes: **Thanks to everyone who reviewed or put the story in their alerts. I'm glad people enjoy this. As promised, here is chapter two which brings us a new POV character (who is one of my favourite characters from the books) and the future is beginning to change, though some things stay the same. Have fun!

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><p><strong>A House of Dreams and Hopes<strong>

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><p><strong>The Maid of Tarth<strong>

She watched Ser Loras ride off with their king into the shadows of the night and felt relief wash over her. Brienne did not doubt that Ser Loras had made the right decision by forcefully bringing Renly to safety. While she normally was not a superstitious person she had meant every word she had said in the tent: sometimes visions did come true, and if the slightest doubt of Renly's safety would not have been enough to persuade her to ask her king to consider leaving the camp the look in Ser Loras's eyes most certainly had been. She had seen genuine fear there, followed by panic when Renly would not listen to him. Only once before in her life had she seen someone that badly scared, and that had been when her brother Galladon had drowned.

People around her were starting to whisper and a general sense of nervous agitation settled over the camp. _News always travels fast_, Brienne thought. She turned around, drew herself up to her full height and addressed her two fellow Rainbow Guards, Ser Emmon and Ser Parmen, who were still guarding Renly's empty tent. "Sers, you have seen that Ser Loras has taken King Renly away from here, to a safer place, and that he has given me command in his absence. I want you and all others who bore witness to their departure to go around camp and inform everyone that there's a possible threat against the king and we are to make for Bitterbridge. I want the whole camp packed up and ready to go as soon as possible."

Ser Emmon stepped forward. "What kind of threat has been made to His Grace, the King, if I may ask?"

"A threat wrought by sorcery," Brienne answered. "Stay here, Ser Emmon, and make sure that the king's tent is put away properly. I'll see if I can get you someone to help."

With that she turned away. Brienne had no doubt that the shadow Ser Loras had spoken of could be anything but the work of sorcery, some evil spell perhaps. And the fact that Ser Loras had said that it looked like Stannis brought only one name to her mind: Melisandre. The Red Woman had been beside Stannis at the parley this morning and Brienne had felt uneasy just by looking at her. For all her talk about fire Melisandre's eyes had been remarkably cold and cunning. Now, should Ser Loras's nightmare come true, Brienne felt only hatred for the priestess and her so-called king. As far as Brienne was concerned, defeating one's greatest enemy by spells and sorcery was the coward's way out and more craven than deserting comrades in battle. It also made it even more clear to her that Renly had the true claim to the Iron Throne, and not Stannis despite him being the older brother. The realm did not need a craven king, it needed a kind and good and most of all fair king and Renly was all of that and so much more.

Before she could find some men to help Ser Emmon with Renly's tent Catelyn Stark appeared before her, with Ser Robar Royce by her side.

"We saw a horse galloping off into the night on our way back," Lady Stark said without much in way of greeting. "Why are Lord Renly and Ser Loras leaving the camp at the eve of battle?"

Brienne decided to let the false honorific slide. "We have cause to believe that an assassination attempt on King Renly's life will be made tonight," she explained. "While Ser Loras is taking the king to safety we are breaking up the camp and will follow them to Bitterbridge as soon as everything is ready." She turned to Ser Robar. "Ser Robar, would you assist Ser Emmon with Renly's tent?"

"Of course, Lady Brienne." Ser Robar nodded to each of them and left.

"How do you know of this attempt?" Lady Stark asked, looking at the people hurrying from one place to another all around them with a frown on her face.

For a moment Brienne considered telling her about the vision. But in the end she said, "Forgive me, Lady Stark, but I cannot tell you until we are sure who is behind it. For all intents and purposes you are to be considered an enemy because of your son's claim and may be involved in this."

Lady Stark looked taken aback. "I would never-", she started to say in outrage, but Brienne held up a hand to silence her.

"My heart does tell me you have no part in anything that may or may not go down tonight. But as a knight of the Rainbow Guard it is my duty not to let my heart rule my decisions, but my head. I hope you understand."

At that the frown disappeared and Lady Stark smiled and bowed her head in respect. "I do, Lady Brienne. Thank you for your kind words. We all strife to protect those we love, do we not?"

Before Brienne could reply to that uncomfortable question, Lady Stark's eyes narrowed. "That's weird."

"What?"

"There's a third shadow in Lord Renly's tent where there had been only two a moment ago."

Brienne whipped her head around. Lady Stark was right. There were the two shadows of Ser Emmon and Ser Robar, showing that the knights were packing away various things. But there was another shadow, long and lean, moving with a speed around the tent walls that was anything but natural. Round and round it went as if looking for something. With a jolt Brienne realized that Ser Loras had been right: the shadow did look like Stannis, and Renly was its target.

"Seven save us," Brienne whispered. She strode towards the tent, shouting for Ser Emmon and Ser Robar to get outside immediately. The shadows of the knights raised their heads at the sound of her voice while the third shadow came to a halt. Before Brienne reached the tent opening the Stannis-shaped shadow descended upon Ser Emmon. When she entered the tent it was already too late. She stepped inside just in time to see Ser Robar's last choking breath. Behind her, Catelyn Stark gasped.

"They're dead," she said, staring wide-eyed at the two corpses. Both of their throats were slit and blood was everywhere. The third shadow was nowhere to be seen. "How can they be dead?"

Brienne looked once more around the tent, making sure they were truly alone, before she answered with a grim voice, "It was the shadow. The shadow killed them."

Lady Stark looked at her with a mix of disbelieve and fear. "A shadow can't kill someone."

"This was not a normal shadow," Brienne said. "You saw how it was moving on the walls. It had no body as source. This shadow was created by sorcery, though I have no idea how." She looked at the two corpses before her and felt guilt stab at her heart. It had been her decision to send the two knights into Renly's tent, and ultimately to their deaths. Only the knowledge that they had died protecting their king, as was the only worthy death for a member of any kingsguard, gave her some comfort.

"You knew this would happen," Lady Stark suddenly said into the silence. "How could you have possibly known?"

Brienne knew that there was no more reason not to tell her. "Ser Loras had a nightmare about a shadow coming to kill the king; a shadow that looked like Stannis. King Renly didn't believe he was in danger but both Ser Loras and I thought it best to get him as far away as possibly from this place, just in case the nightmare was not a nightmare at all but more a vision."

"Stannis," Lady Stark breathed. She looked at Brienne with wide eyes. "He threatened my son at the parley! Do you think Robb is in danger as well?"

Brienne shook her head. "I do not believe such powerful magic can work over long distances. And even if it could I don't think anyone could create two such shadows in one night."

"And by anyone you mean the red priestess Melisandre," Lady Stark guessed. She shook her head. "This woman is dangerous, even more than Stannis and all his armies combined. She's his greatest weapon if our assumptions are true. I have to get back to Robb as soon as possible."

"I must ask you first to return to Bitterbridge with us, Lady Stark," Brienne said. "Only the king can give you leave."

Lady Stark looked at her angrily. "My son is in danger! I don't care what Lord Renly says or does! Robb must be warned."

"Please, Lady Stark," Brienne tried again. "You can send a raven from Bitterbridge to warn your son. I believe you will be of more help to him if you come with us. After everything that happened tonight I think King Renly might be more inclined to listen to the talk of an alliance with the North which will benefit both Stag and Direwolf."

There was silence for a few moments as Catelyn Stark considered the words. Then she nodded, although she did not look happy. "I will ride with you to Bitterbridge and talk to Renly once more. But if he will not listen to me I will leave and go to my son."

Brienne nodded. No more was said between them that night and they left the tent together. Outside, Ser Parmen came walking towards them. With a nod Lady Stark left the two of them in search for her escort from Winterfell.

"Lady Brienne," Ser Parmen reported, "the whole camp ready for departure as we speak. I think we should be all set to leave in about two hours."

"That is good news, Ser," Brienne said. "I'm afraid I bring bad ones. Both Ser Emmon and Ser Robar have just been killed inside the king's tent."

Ser Parmen's eyes went wide and his face drained of color. "How?"

Brienne shrugged, not wanting to go into detail. "Their throats were slit. I believe the assassin killed them in a fit of rage when he could not find the king."

Ser Parmen looked stricken. He glanced behind her at the tent opening. "Are they still in there?" Brienne nodded. He took a deep breath. "Then we should make sure they are buried properly."

Together they spent the next few hours organizing the chaos that had taken hold of the camp and preparing the burial of the bodies. A small ceremony was held once the camp was ready to depart, and Ser Emmon and Ser Robar were buried at the slope of a little hill that was overgrown with flowers that bloomed only during nighttime. A lot of people were present to pay their respects but only Ser Parmen spoke a few words in remembrance before the graves were filled up with dirt. It was not much and not nearly worthy enough, Brienne thought, but it was all they could do for their dead comrades at the moment. Lingering here was dangerous, even though she was pretty sure that the threat of the shadow had passed. That did not mean, however, that Stannis was not planning to attack their camp anyway, especially if Melisandre knew that their assassination attempt had failed.

With one last look at the graves and willing herself not to imagine Renly lying in one of them, Brienne called to the riders to mount their horses, and when they finally made for Bitterbridge almost four hours had passed since Ser Loras had left the camp with their king. Brienne was glad to finally leave that cursed place behind and deeply relieved and thankful it had not become Renly's last resting place.

So many things could have gone wrong tonight, she realized. It was supposed to be her in that tent with Renly. She would have been dressing him in his armor when the shadow came, just like she had been prepared to do when Ser Loras had stormed in all those hours ago. She wondered if she would have been killed together with Renly or if the shadow would have spared her life. Some part of her hoped for the first, because life without Renly was dull and without purpose. Brienne tried to imagine what could have happened after the death of their king, how the people would have taken it. _They'd probably go over to Stannis_, she realized. Not all of them, but most. And then she thought of Ser Loras and his panicked face when Renly did not listen and wondered how he would have fared. She was sure he would be devastated if something happened to Renly.

No, not only devastated but lost in a world without a sun. That was how he had described Renly to her when he had first informed her of her duties as a member of the Rainbow Guard. "It is your duty to protect King Renly with everything you have," he had told her. "Not only with strength, but also with wit, charm, and cunning. For Renly is the king who is supposed to be. He will be the sun for Westeros, lighting all the dark places marred by Lannister intrigue. The world will be a better place with him on the Iron Throne, and should he fall so will we all."

She had nodded then, hearing the words but not exactly understanding the meaning. Now she knew that what Ser Loras had said was true. With someone like Stannis on the Iron Throne under the counsel of Melisandre Westeros would become a place of shadows, dread and despair. It would be a land covered in darkness whereas under Renly it would grow and thrive in sunlight.

Brienne looked at the dark road ahead of her. At its end waited Renly and with him the future of the Seven Kingdoms; a future that may yet come to pass thanks to Ser Loras's actions.


	3. The King of Storms and Gardens

**Title: **A House of Dreams and Hopes

**Author: **Ailendolin

**Rating: **T (PG-13) … just to be sure.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything in this story. The setting and characters in this story belong to George R.R. Martin and I do not make any profit with this and mean no disrespect.

**Summary: **Spoilers and AU for ACoK: There are many different realities. In this one, Loras has the chance to change his fate and built a future with Renly. RenlyxLoras

**Word Count: **2160

**Warning: **Spoilers for ACoK, AU

**Author's Notes: **I'm sorry for the late update. Apparently our internet decided to take a short vacation yesterday evening for it wasn't working. At all. I hate it when that happens. Anyways, new chapter, new POV. This time Renly gets to tell his side of things. I'm not perfectly happy with the way this chapters turned out, to be honest. I tried to show Renly's conflicting emotions about the whole situation but I'm not sure I actually succeeded. Hopefully, he doesn't come across as totally heartless and only frustrated in his own unique stubborn way. Still, I hope you enjoy this (late) update.

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><p><strong>A House of Dreams and Hopes<strong>

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><p><strong>The King of Storms and Gardens<strong>

Even though he woke up with a blinding headache Renly did not open his eyes nor make a sound. His memory was fuzzy and he waited for it to reassert itself before he gave his potential kidnappers a sign that he had awakened. Instead of his eyes he relied on his other senses to tell him more about his surroundings. He could hear the sound of falling rain quite clearly and smell the musty scent of damp earth all around him. The ground under him was soft and by the feel of the fabric his own cloak had been draped over him to keep him warm.

_I must be lying under a tree or a rock_, Renly realized. It was the only explanation as to why he was reasonably dry in what sounded like a heavy downpour. Somewhere to his left a horse whinnied softly, and suddenly his memory came back. He remembered his tent and talking to Brienne who was readying his armor for him. And he remembered Loras and his dream of shadows and then nothing.

With a jolt Renly opened his eyes and stared at the moss-covered surface of grey granite rock above him. He sat up and looked around. The rain was indeed falling so heavily that it created a dark grey curtain that separated him from the world beyond his sheltering rock. It took Renly a moment to spot Loras. He was standing right in the middle of the downpour, sword in hand and ready to fight whatever enemy might come to slay his king. The sight of his lover filled him with sudden anger.

"You hit me!" Renly exclaimed.

Loras startled so badly he almost lost his footing on the muddy ground. "You're awake." He sounded relieved.

Renly glowered at him. "Yes, no thanks to you. You hit me!" he repeated.

"I am sorry," Loras said quietly and looked down at his feet. "I saw no other way to get you to come with me."

"That's because I didn't want to come with you!" Renly laughed with disdain. "I told you, as your king, that I wished to remain in camp and yet you not only went against my orders, no, you also had to attack me! Tell me, Ser Loras, where does it say that it's the duty of a member of the Kingsguard to attack their king?"

Loras just looked at him for a moment, apparently taken aback by the way Renly had addressed him, then he bowed his head. Dimly, Renly registered the hurt that passed over Loras's face. "It is my duty to protect you, Your Grace," Loras said quietly, voice carefully neutral. "If need be, even from yourself."

Renly scoffed. "Well, I wasn't about to kill myself, now was I?"

"No, but you wouldn't listen, Your Grace. I only tried to do what's right."

"Yes, and it's obvious you're just as bad at listening as I am, ser. Maybe I should reconsider your position as Lord Commander of my Rainbow Guard."

The moment he said those words Renly knew the damage was done. Loras looked first shocked and then so unbelievably sad and hurt and lost that Renly immediately wanted to take back his words. He did not mean them, not truly; how could he? Loras was the center of his life. But as king Renly could not help being angry that Loras would undermine his authority in such a way just because of a silly nightmare he had.

With a sigh Renly turned away from the sight that was his heartbroken lover and glanced at Ivy, Ser Loras's white mare, grazing next to a tree where she was at least partly sheltered from the rain. "Take me back to camp."

Loras did not look at him. "I can't, Your Grace. By now Brienne will have the whole camp packed up and moving towards us."

Renly groaned. This kept getting better and better. "And where, pray tell, are we, Ser Loras?"

"Somewhere on the road to Bitterbridge, Your Grace."

"I suppose you mean for us to regroup there and talk of the potential dangers of shadows on the walls?" His tone was mocking and Loras did not answer. "I hope you're aware that your little stunt has cost us all hope of settling things with Stannis in a peaceful way. He won't be amused I won't be there for our meeting today."

It looked like Loras wanted to say something, but in the end he just bit his lip and looked away, out into the dark where the first light of day crept over the horizon and turned their dark grey world a little lighter. Renly shook his head and for the first time took a good look at his surroundings. Over him and to his right was a pile of big boulders, with one offering one man enough shelter from wind and rain and reasonably dry ground. It was there that Loras had placed him. Around the boulders trees grew sparsely, only a handful here and there. Loras stood facing away from them and when Renly narrowed his eyes he thought he could see the road ahead.

"You could have at least built us a fire," Renly muttered, finally breaking the silence.

Loras shook his head vehemently. "No, I couldn't, Your Grace. It is fire and light that create shadows in the night. It would have been too dangerous."

_He still thinks a shadow will come after me_, Renly realized. He did not know whether to be annoyed, amused or feel touched that his safety meant so much to Loras. At the moment he was leaning towards annoyed. He glared at Loras through the rain and huddled deeper under his cloak. Renly hoped that Brienne would arrive soon. Maybe not everything was lost and they could still return to the parley ground instead of riding towards Bitterbridge.

Silence reigned as more and more light crept into the new day. Loras kept facing the road and Renly noticed only now that his lover's light clothes were soaked through. _Serves him right_, Renly thought grimly, no yet ready for forgiveness. He refused to feel any pity for Loras. It was his own fault and maybe it would even be a lesson to him.

Another two hours passed by without any words being spoken between King and Lord Commander. By the time they heard the clatter of hooves on the road Renly was more than ready to leave his little shelter. Loras's entire posture, on the other hand, went tense when he heard the horse. When Renly moved to stand up Loras turned around and pointed his sword at him.

"Stay, Your Grace. We don't know who is coming."

Renly rolled his eyes. "Pointing a sword at me, Ser Loras? Really? You know, that's not likely to improve my feelings regarding your actions. And anyway, it'll probably be Brienne on that horse. Or do you now not only believe in shadow assassins but also in shadow horses?"

Loras lowered the sword self-consciously. "Still, I'd like to make sure," he mumbled

Renly waved him away with a disbelieving shake of his head and watched as Loras walked through the mud towards the road. A tall figure wrapped in a blue cloak appeared on a brown horse and Renly smirked. Of course it would be Brienne. Loras nodded at her and helped her down from her horse. They came walking towards him and Renly fastened his cloak around his shoulders, pulled the hood up and met them under the tree where Ivy was grazing.

"Brienne!" he greeted her. "Believe me, I am more than happy to see you."

Brienne bowed before him. "Thank you, Your Grace. I am relieved to see you alive and well."

There was a look in her eyes that made Renly uneasy. She should have looked as annoyed by this situation as Renly felt but instead she looked badly shaken. Her eyes spoke of a night full of horror. A dreadful feeling settled in his stomach. "Tell me."

Brienne glanced briefly at Loras who was tending the horses but listening intently before she started to explain. "There was a shadow in your tent, Your Grace. It looked like your brother and killed Ser Emmon and Ser Robar."

"How did they die?" Renly asked quietly as the shock began to set in. That news unsettled him more than he cared to admit. Beside him Loras had gone completely still.

"Their throats were slit," Brienne said, "but I do not know how. We buried their bodies and then followed you as fast as we could."

Renly closed his eyes, trying to imagine the last moments of his two Rainbow Guard knights. They had been the Red and the Yellow, he remembered dimly. He was brought out of his thoughts by Brienne who knelt in front of him. "I am sorry, Your Grace. It is my fault they died. I sent them to pack up the things in your tent."

Renly shook his head and helped her up. "No, Lady Brienne. That shadow was meant for me and not for them. You could not have known."

Brienne inclined her head in understanding. "Ser Loras was right to get you away from that place, Your Grace," she said. "His nightmare was indeed a vision. He saved your life."

He knew Brienne spoke the truth, and that he owed Loras his life, and yet he still could not stop himself from being angry that his lover had acted against his orders. Renly did not know what to do with all those conflicting emotions raging war against each other inside of him. Right now, however, Loras was not his priority. There were graver problems facing him. He decided that he would deal with his emotions concerning Loras later.

"How far behind is the rest of the camp?" Renly asked instead of replying to Brienne's statement.

"Not far, Your Grace," Brienne said. "They should be here soon."

Renly nodded. "Good. We will wait for them and then make for Bitterbridge. There we will decide what to do next."

He looked out at the road. The rain had lessened some but the mud remained and it would be a slow going if they wanted to make sure not to injure the horses. He did not like the prospect of spending even more days out in the open, especially with shadows being after him. _Not that stone walls will provide a much better defense than tent wall, _he thought wryly.

"I promised the Lady Stark that you would talk with her once more," Brienne interrupted his musings. "She wanted to return to her son immediately after the murders but I persuaded her to come with us to Bitterbridge first."

"Good thinking," Renly commended her. "I think it is time I reconsider the path I wanted to take. Stannis, Melisandre and their blasted shadows are a threat to all of us, to the whole of Westeros. It appears Stannis turns out to be an even worse king than I originally thought." The clattering of various hooves could be heard in the distance and Renly smiled. "And that would be the rest of my army. Time to go and make new plans."

He left Brienne and Loras by the horses and walked the few paces that led him to the road. There he waited for the first riders to appear. It was Ser Parmen who came out of the rainy mist first. He was leading Renly's horse behind him and handed the stallion over to him when he stopped in front of him.

"Your Grace," he said by way of greeting. "It is good to see you well."

Renly nodded and mounted his horse. "I've heard the news. Ride along the column and tell everyone that we will proceed to ride for Bitterbridge."

Ser Parmen bowed and reared his horse around. A few paces to his left Renly could see Loras and Brienne conversing quietly with each other. He called them and a moment later they each mounted their horses and came to his side.

"Yes, Your Grace?" Loras asked softly.

Renly glanced at him briefly. The desolate look on Loras's face made him want to take his lover into his arms and tell him everything would be okay. He had been harsh to Loras since he had woken up and was starting to regret his actions. Now, however, was neither the time nor the place for apologies and open affections, so Renly did his best to ignore the tightening in his gut when he said, "We ride for Bitterbridge. I don't want to lose any time."

With that he urged his horse forward, hopefully far away from Stannis and his shadows.

He urged his stallion into a slow trot and the long column of soldiers, with Brienne and Loras on each side of him, followed him on the long way back to Bitterbridge.


	4. The Lady in Blue

**Title: **A House of Dreams and Hopes

**Author: **Ailendolin

**Rating: **T (PG-13) … just to be sure.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything in this story. The setting and characters in this story belong to George R.R. Martin and I do not make any profit with this and mean no disrespect.

**Summary: **Spoilers and AU for ACoK: There are many different realities. In this one, Loras has the chance to change his fate and built a future with Renly. RenlyxLoras

**Word Count: **2960

**Warning: **Spoilers for ACoK, AU

**Author's Notes: **Once more, we see Brienne's view of Loras and Renly. I absolutely love writing her. She's just so amazing and I'm really looking forward to Gwendoline's portrayal of her in the show. Hope you enjoy Brienne's second chapter. Only two more chapters to go after that. =)

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><p><strong>A House of Dreams and Hopes<strong>

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><p><strong>The Lady in Blue<strong>

Brienne had been utterly relieved when she found Renly alive and well in that small clearing beside the road. Ever since the shadow of Stannis had vanished from the king's tent she had feared that it had not simply disappeared but gone on to look for its intended target. Seeing Renly smiling at her felt like a huge burden was being lifted off her shoulders. She watched him walk onto the road to await the arrival of his host and turned to Ser Loras. He was standing next to his mare and petting her gently, obviously lost in his thoughts.

"Ser Loras?" she asked quietly so as not to startle him.

He looked at her with tired, red-rimmed eyes and gave her a weary smile. "Yes, my lady?"

Something was wrong with him. Never before had she seen the Knight of Flowers like this, so utterly worn down and without any spark in his eyes. Usually Ser Loras was all easy smiles and entertaining laughter, but now his smile looked strenuous and his whole posture was slumped as if weighed down. He looked defeated, which did not make any sense since he was the reason their king was still alive.

Still, she knew him not well enough to feel comfortable asking him what had happened since he had left the camp with Renly, so instead she said, "I just wanted to thank you for keeping the king safe. I don't believe I have done so properly before."

He nodded at her and resumed stroking the mane of Ivy. "It's not a big deal. You'd have done the same, my lady. It is our duty, after all."

But Brienne was not so sure she would have had she been in his situation. It was always easier to support someone than being the one taking the first step into an unknown direction. She doubted she would have been brave enough to face Renly's mock and scorn. With anyone else it would not matter all that much to her but Renly was different. Renly respected her the way she was and had never let her looks or her gender affect his opinion of her as a person or as a knight. Having him mocking her would have hurt far worse than any sword wound ever could, that Brienne was sure of.

Renly's call brought her out of her thoughts and her and Loras mounted their horses. Without his armor Loras looked impossibly small on his white mare. His linen clothes were drenched and clung to his body, making him shiver slightly in the breeze. "Where is your cloak?" Brienne asked. She was sure she had seen him wear it when he had left the camp last night.

"I gave it to His Grace," Loras explained while they crossed the short distance to the road. "The ground where I placed him was damp and I didn't want his clothes to get ruined. He's still wearing it. I don't think he even noticed."

He sounded oddly sad when he said that, Brienne noted, although she could not understand why. Renly always noticed everything that had to do with his Lord Commander. When they reached Renly Brienne could see a sliver of the multi-colored fabric of Loras's cloak underneath Renly's own green one. Next to her Loras asked softly, "Yes, Your Grace?"

The king looked at him for a short moment. Brienne was prepared for Renly to smile warmly at Loras like he was prone to do. She had gotten used to those affectionate smiles and more than once found herself wishing to see Renly smile at her that way, only once. But what she saw now confused her. Instead of smiling at Loras and giving him back his cloak like she thought he would Renly turned his head away. Brienne frowned. She had been sure that Renly had noticed Loras's soaked through appearance. Even if Loras should be right and Renly did not know that he was wearing Loras's cloak he normally would have made sure Loras got another one.

"We ride for Bitterbridge. I don't want to lose any time."

With that Renly and the rest of the column got on their way, and the matter of Loras's cloak was ignored. Brienne followed with an uneasy feeling in her stomach. This coldness between Renly and Loras unsettled her and more than once she found herself glancing not at her king but at her Lord Commander.

"Ser Loras," she finally called out to him. "Would you like to have my cloak?"

He lifted his head to look at her and it seemed to cost him a great amount of energy. "What?" he asked, as if he had not heard her.

Brienne rode to his side. "You look cold and I wondered if you'd like to wear my cloak?"

Loras stared at her for a moment, then his eyes flickered to Renly before he shook his head. "No, keep your cloak, my lady. It's still raining and I'm already soaked to the bone. Not much use in both of us looking like drowned rats." The smile he gave her was forced.

Brienne stared at him for a moment then nodded. She did not like his answer but it was not like she could force her cloak on him. They continued to ride side by side and silence fell over them. Brienne found herself observing Loras. Now and again he glanced up and his eyes would linger on Renly's proud form at the head of the column before they were lowered to the ground once more. With the passing hours it was not so much Loras riding and steering his horse anymore but Ivy simply following behind Renly's stallion on her own.

When the first coughs wracked Loras's lean body around midday Brienne grew worried. Renly briefly glanced over his shoulder at him but continued without comment. _Why doesn't he help him?_ Brienne wondered. It was obvious that Renly cared about Loras, she could see it in his eyes when he looked at him. And yet he did nothing, seemingly intent on ignoring Loras for the rest of the day. Now more than ever she was sure that something had happened between them since they left the camp; something that turned their warm and positive relationship into coldness and distance in Renly's case and weariness and longing in Loras's.

Brienne tried once more to offer Loras her cloak but he declined again. He did, however, accept the water she handed him. "When have you last eaten?" she asked him.

"Yesterday?" he answered, sounding unsure. "Around midday, perhaps?"

"You must be hungry. I'll ask the king for a lunch break."

"You don't have to do that," Loras said hurriedly, but Brienne was already galloping towards Renly.

"Your Grace?" she asked. "If I may ask: when will we halt? It is already past midday and I think the people could do with some hot broth."

Renly considered that for a moment. "I'd rather not rest until it is dark but you are right. The horses could use a break as well. We'll stop here for an hour. It's as good a place as any."

During their stop Brienne managed to persuade Loras to eat a little broth and bread. At times his fingers were shaking so badly she feared he would spill his spoon's contents all over himself but somehow he managed. Even though it was a warm if rainy summer day he was shivering as if a snowstorm was raging around them. _He's getting sick,_ she realized when they mounted their horses once more. His longing glances towards Renly and Renly's stubborn attitude, never acknowledging any one of them, made Brienne's heart ache. It was all she could do not to bang their heads together there and then and force them to talk. Renly's cause could not afford the breaking of their friendship right now, not with shadows after them and Loras being the only real defense against them that they have.

They rode on until an hour before nightfall and the rain finally stopped. By that time Loras looked like he would be falling off his horse any minute. He was curled in on himself and shivering violently, and from time to time a coughing fit would leave him breathless. He did not even realize the column had stopped for the night nor did he notice that people all around him were starting to make camp until Brienne touched him gently on the shoulder. When he looked at her with too wide and feverish eyes she wanted nothing more than to bundle him up and sit him in front of a warm fire but their king had other things in mind. "King Renly wants to see us in his tent," Brienne told Loras. She stayed by his side when he dismounted in case he lost his balance and together they made their way slowly across the camp. The moment Loras saw Renly's tent his steps faltered. Brienne pulled him gently forward. "It's okay," she said. "He's not in there. We're just using it to store the provisions. Renly will be staying in Ser Emmon's tent."

Ser Emmon's tent was visibly smaller than Renly's and housed beside a bed only Renly's desk and chair. Brienne and Loras stopped in front of the desk and waited for Renly to acknowledge their presence.

"I wanted to discuss with you the two empty places in the Rainbow Guard. It's obvious that they have to be filled as soon as possible. Any suggestions?"

Ser Loras locked briefly eyes with Renly. Brienne noticed that he tried to keep his shivering toned down and realized that he did not want Renly to know how ill he really felt. "What about Martyn Flowers?"

Renly frowned. "He was the squire of your brother Garlan, was he not?"

Loras nodded. "Martyn was made a knight not so long ago. I know he is not of noble birth but Garlan always had nothing but praise for him."

"Good," Renly said. "Anyone else?"

Loras thought for a moment, then said, "Ser Andrew Vyrwel. He is the son of Igon Vyrwel, the captain of the guards at Highgarden. He is battle-experienced and steadfast, a good man to have at your side. Both he and Martyn are currently at Bitterbridge, if I'm not mistaken."

"Alright," Renly said. "I will talk to both of them once we've reached Bitterbridge. Ser Loras, please tell your brother Garlan I wish to speak with him tomorrow on the ride about Martyn Flowers. You're dismissed for tonight."

Loras looked taken aback for a moment and glanced at Brienne uncertainly before he bowed stiffly and exited the tent. Brienne watched him go with pity in her eyes, knowing that right now he probably felt jealous that she could spend more time with Renly while he was dismissed. She could hear him coughing painfully as he went away and wondered why Renly had sent him on this errand instead of making sure he was dry and warm.

When Brienne turned around to look at Renly the king was staring at the tent opening, lost in his thoughts. "He is getting sick, Your Grace," she said quietly. Normally she would never discuss any kind of personal matter with Renly but Loras was hurting and Renly was at fault and it was time someone took the first step.

"What?" Renly looked at her as if he had just come out of a daze.

"Ser Loras," Brienne said patiently. "He is getting sick."

Renly frowned at her. His face had a stubborn look about it that reminded Brienne of a little boy who did not get his way and was throwing a tantrum because of it. "So? I fail to see how that's my fault."

"It is, actually," Brienne said. When he leveled his stare on her she refused to back down. "Did you know that he gave you his cloak to keep you dry and warm and your clothes clean?"

Renly snorted. "He didn't even wear a cloak today."

"That's where you're wrong, Your Grace. He wore it when he left camp and gave it to you some time after that. You've been wearing it under your own cloak ever since." She pointed at the rainbow-colored fabric that peeked out from under Renly's own cloak. The king's eyes followed her gaze and grew wide when he saw the second cloak.

"I never noticed," Renly said softly, proving Loras's earlier words true. He fumbled at his throat for the brooch that held the rainbow cloak in place and after a moment it tumbled to the ground. Renly picked the warm material up and stared at it reverently, fingers tracing the pattern of the rose brooch. Then he lifted his head and locked eyes with Brienne, looking lost and confused. "Why didn't he say anything?"

Brienne sighed, knowing that she must now tread carefully unless she wanted to do more damage than good. "I suppose he was scared," she answered.

"Scared?" Renly shook his head. "Loras has never been scared of me, not even when he was my squire and I was his lord."

"But now you are his king," Brienne reminded him. "I do not know how to put this nicely, Your Grace, but if I may continue …" She trailed off and waited for him to tell her to go on. When he did, she said, "You haven't treated him very well today, Your Grace. You've laughed when he told you about his vision, even mocked him. I do not know what happened until I found you but from your coldness towards him it is obvious that more harsh words were said between you."

She paused for a moment, allowing Renly time to process what she said. "You're right," he admitted. "I did say some pretty hurtful things to him after I woke up because I was angry.

"Why?" She asked. "Because he went against your orders? Then you have every right to be angry at me as well, Your Grace, for I fully support Ser Loras's decision to use whatever means possible to keep you safe."

Renly stared at her for a long time before he smiled tiredly and lowered his head to stare once more at the rainbow cloak in his hands. "I couldn't have found anyone more devoted for my Kingsguard than you and Loras, could I?" he mused.

Brienne smiled back at him. "You have no idea how much you mean to Ser Loras," she said. _Or to me_, she added mentally. "I have watched him all day, Your Grace, and he is but a shadow of himself. It was plain to see for anyone who paid attention how much he was longing for a nice word from you, or a smile. He kept looking at you, and you never looked back."

Renly sighed and wiped his eyes tiredly. "The more you tell me the sorrier I feel for how I acted. I thought talking to Loras could wait until we reach Bitterbridge but apparently I'm wrong. I'm not good at confrontations, Brienne," he confessed quietly. "Especially when it concerns matters of the heart. I fear I have used my title unjustly, deliberately addressing him as Ser Loras and making it impossible for him to turn the talk from official to personal. I regret that now."

"Then tell him that," Brienne urged. "That's all Ser Loras needs. Tell him you're sorry, why you were angry. Make him understand. He is not looking for a fight, Your Grace. He just wants his friend back."

"His friend," Renly said slowly. "Yes. I haven't been a very good friend, have I?"

Brienne smiled wryly at him, glad he finally understood. "No, Your Grace, you really haven't."

Renly laughed softly and it was the sweetest sound Brienne had ever heard. It was like a shadow had lain over him all day and now it had passed, letting him breathe freely for the first time since he had woken up. "You should go to him," Brienne suggested. "Make sure he's comfortable and resting."

Renly nodded and his eyes shone warmly when he looked at her. "I will do that. Thank you for putting me in my place, Lady Brienne. I was very much in need of that."

Brienne found herself blushing. "I'm not a lady," she muttered, earning her another laugh from her king.

"Yes, you are," Renly insisted. "You are my Lady in Blue, and I am very fortunate to have you in my Kingsguard."

With that he winked at her and went to leave the tent while fastening the rainbow cloak under his own one once more. In the opening he stopped and looked back at her. "Do you know where I might find Loras?"

"I think you should start at his brother's tent, Your Grace," Brienne replied. "With a bit of luck he will still be there. Otherwise he's probably looking for his own tent in the chaos out there."

"Thank you, again, my lady," Renly said with a light bow and a warm smile. He did not see her blush and would probably never know what a smile like this from him could do to her but Brienne did not care. She reveled in the warmth that spread through her and was content with what she had. She watched him go until he vanished into the dark and found herself staring at the scrolls Renly had left behind on the desk. They were letters, some of them as of yet unfinished, and Brienne decided that they could wait another day. She carefully put them away and blew out the candles in the tent before she left as well, hoping that Renly had found Ser Loras by now.


	5. The Brother of Knight and Queen

**Title: **A House of Dreams and Hopes

**Author: **Ailendolin

**Rating: **T (PG-13) … just to be sure.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything in this story. The setting and characters in this story belong to George R.R. Martin and I do not make any profit with this and mean no disrespect.

**Summary: **Spoilers and AU for ACoK: There are many different realities. In this one, Loras has the chance to change his fate and built a future with Renly. RenlyxLoras

**Word Count: **3680

**Warning: **Spoilers for ACoK, AU

**Author's Notes: **Happy Easter everyone! Here's chapter five, this time from Garlan's POV. I actually have no idea if he was part of Renly's host or stayed at Bitterbridge or Highgarden, but for the sake of this story he was with Renly. I hope you enjoy this chapter. We get some more insight into Loras's head. The next and last chapter will be up tomorrow. Expect a (probably more than) healthy amount of fluff there. =)

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><p><strong>A House of Dreams and Hopes<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>The Brother of Knight and Queen <strong>

It had been a long day for Ser Garlan Tyrell. His duty had been to bring some order into the chaos that reigned after King Renly had left the camp and a shadow had killed two members of the Rainbow Guard the night before. He had tried to make sure that their equipment was not only packed up with haste, but also with care. Now that they had stopped for the night Garlan knew that he had only partly succeeded in keepings things in order. The weapons, parchments and maps, and their food supplies were where they were supposed to be. The tents were another matter entirely. They were all over the place, in this wagon or that. The real problem was not finding the tents; it was finding all parts of them. It was a wonder, really, that they had gotten about half the tents up at all.

Garlan leaned back in his chair behind his desk. He had been one of the lucky ones. His squire Fynn had made sure that his tent was put away properly before Garlan ordered him to see if Brienne needed help with the king's tent or her own. Fynn was a lean 13 years-old boy with blonde hair and a dash of freckles across his nose. Ever smiling and always eager to listen and learn, he was one of the best squires Garlan had ever had. He would not be surprised if Fynn were to surpass Martyn Flowers in time.

Fighting a yawn, Garlan forced himself to finish the letter he was currently writing. He had already composed one for Margaery at Bitterbridge and one for his father at Highgarden. The third and last one would go to his grandmother, Olenna Tyrell. She would be at Highgarden as well, he knew, but she always demanded a letter solely addressed to her to keep her well informed. Garlan loved his grandmother dearly. Right now, however, he wanted nothing more than to finish this wretched letter and go to sleep. Never before in his life had he felt so tired and drained.

He was just finishing the letter with a flourished "With love, your grandson Garlan" when Fynn poked his head through the tent flap. "Ah, Fynn!" Garlan said. He picked up the letters and gave them to his squire who was patiently awaiting his orders. "Take these to the maester. These two are for Highgarden and this one is for Bitterbridge."

"Yes, Ser," Fynn said, cradling the letters as if they were the most precious documents in all of the Seven Kingdoms. When he did not leave Garlan gave him a questioning look. "Your brother waits outside," Fynn explained.

Loras. Garlan had to admit that he had not spared his younger brother any thought at all during the day. He knew that it was Loras who had saved Renly, had heard about what happened from Brienne herself when she rode down the column at one point during the night. When they met up with Renly and Loras they immediately went on to Bitterbridge. Garlan had not even had a chance to speak with Loras during their lunch break since the cooks could not find their cooking pots and wood for the fires had to be organized and it had fallen to Garlan to make sure they would all get a warm meal.

"Let him in, Fynn," Garlan said. "After you've delivered the letters you're dismissed for the night."

Fynn bowed, flashed him a gratefully bright smile and left, holding the tent flap open just long enough for Loras to step through. The cheerful greeting died on Garlan's lips when he saw the state of his brother.

"Loras?" he asked.

Loras looked up at him with eyes bright with fever. His face was flushed, his clothes drenched from the rain and he was shivering so badly his teeth were chattering. "The king sent me," Loras began, and if Garlan had not already been worried he definitely would have been now. Loras never addressed Renly as 'the king', at least not privately. "He is considering Ser Martyn Flowers for a position in the Rainbow Guard," Loras went on, "and would speak with you about him on the morrow during the ride."

"Okay," Garlan said, frowning. "What happened to you, Loras?"

Loras looked puzzled. "What?"

Garlan stepped closer to his brother. He brushed some damp locks out of green eyes that looked too wide and childlike. "Why are you not with Renly?"

"The king has sent me here," Loras replied slowly, quite obviously not understanding why Garlan was asking him that. He stared at his brother in confusion. "I told you why."

"Yes, but since when do call Renly by his title when we're alone?"

Garlan was not sure if Loras deliberately misunderstood the question or not. "Since father put a crown on his head and married Margaery to him."

There was a certain amount of disdain and contempt in Loras's voice that Garlan knew Loras would never allow showing normally. But Loras was sick right now and illnesses tended to bring down his carefully erected walls, and for the first time in years Garlan saw his little brother and not the Knight of Flowers standing before him.

Deciding not to press Loras for now Garlan picked up a soft towel and started rubbing Loras's hair dry. "You need to get out of these clothes. We need to warm you up."

Loras allowed the treatment for a moment, even closing his eyes, before they snapped back open. He took an unsteady step backwards. "I can't. I've got to get back to my own tent. The king may have need of me and he will send someone to look for me there. I can't be here when he needs me."

"You probably won't find your tent," Garlan said gently. "They're are all over the place. Most of the host will sleep in the open until we sort out this chaos, which will most likely only happen once we reach Bitterbridge." When Loras looked like he wanted to argue Garlan added, "It was Renly who sent you here, right? So when he can't find your tent he will most likely come here in his search should he need you."

Loras deflated at that and Garlan chose the moment to get his brother out of his soaked-through clothes and into the warmest dry trousers and tunic Garlan could find. They were too huge for his brother, hanging off his lithe frame, but there was nothing Garlan could do about that at the moment. He bundled Loras up in a fur blanket and sat him down on the bed roll in the corner before seating himself next to him on the ground. Then he looked Loras in the eyes. "What happened out there, Loras? It's unusual for you not to be at his side. More importantly, why has he let you out of his sight? Usually he's like a mother hen when something's wrong with you," Garlan added with a wry smile. They both knew it was true. Loras had told him more than once in a letter how Renly fussed when Loras got injured in a tournament or came down with any kind of illness, even if it was just a little cough.

Loras stared down at his trembling hands. "Because he doesn't want me at his side anymore," he admitted in a soft whisper.

"That's not true," Garlan said at once. "You know that's not true, Loras. You two are made for each other. Inseparable. Why would you think Renly doesn't want you at his side anymore?"

Loras stared at him so brokenly, his eyes filled with so much sadness that Garlan almost forgot to breathe. "He told me, Garlan. He told me he's considering replacing me as Lord Commander. It's not that hard to imagine that he'll be replacing me in other areas as well."

"What happened out there?" Garlan asked once more, knowing that there had to be more to the story than that.

Loras explained everything, from the fight in the tent, the drastic measures Loras had to resort to in order to get his king to safety to the fallout in the clearing. "You should have seen his eyes," Loras said with a shudder. "He has never looked at me like that before. As if I was nothing more than dirt underneath his shoes that was annoying him."

"But you saved his life," Garlan tried to reassure. "He'll come around in time. You know how Renly is. Quick to anger, not so quick to forgive."

Loras shook his head. His breathing grew erratic and too fast, and tears filled his eyes when he choked out, "I don't think he will. I think I've lost him, Garlan. I only wanted to save him, but now I'll lose him anyway, and it's all my fault."

Garlan took his brother into his arms then, offering him a safe place away from all the horrors of the real world like he used to do when they were children. Loras clung to him desperately and Garlan held him, all the while whispering comforting and reassuring words, all of which were dismissed quickly.

"You haven't seen him," Loras was whispering harshly into Garlan's shoulder. "This – no, we are broken. He's put me aside." Loras's next words sent shivers down Garlan's spine. "And why shouldn't he? What have I to offer him? Nothing, Garlan. Absolutely nothing. He has Margaery now. She's all he needs."

Garlan forced his brother to look at him. "That's not true and you know it. We've already had this discussion more than once. Margaery is not what he wants. Or who."

Loras snorted, and it turned into a coughing fit that left him gasping for air. "Don't tell me you believe that. Margaery is everything I am not. And she is everything I am as well. She is perfect for him. She is who he needs."

"Loras, he doesn't want Margaery. You're the one who matters. It's you he loves."

Loras laughed harshly. "Not anymore. Garlan, can't you see it? Everyone's always telling me that Margaery and I look so alike we could be twins. You've even said so once or twice. And Renly will learn to love her in time. It's not a question of if but when it will happen. A king needs a queen at his side, not a knight he screws secretly in the dark after everyone's gone to sleep, hoping no one notices. It's Margaery who is perfect for him, not me," he repeats once more, eyes full of distress, fearing that his words might be true and desperate for them not to be.

_And this is the root of all of this, isn't it?_ Garlan thought while he held his brother and watched him slowly fall into a restless sleep against his chest. It always came back down to Margaery. Garlan loved his sister and he knew that Loras loved her even more but since the wedding things had not been the same. Loras tried to hide it but Garlan knew that he was jealous of their sister. With one decision their father had turned Loras's world upside down. Suddenly Margaery was paraded around in public, and Renly had to appear the loving husband, taking her hand or kissing her softly, and Loras was cast aside, demoted to the role of Lord Commander of the Rainbow Guard. Every time that happened Loras withered a little more away, like a flower without sunlight. It was not Margaery's fault, of course not, and deep down Loras knew that. She was just a pawn in this game for the Iron Throne, just as Loras and even Renly were. But that did not change the fact that Margaery got what Loras so desperately wanted: to claim Renly as his, to show the world how much he loved this man, to keep the one thing he could call his own. And Garlan knew that that more than anything else had hurt Loras. It did not help matters that Renly was a good actor and very attentive towards Margaery in public, even though he made sure not to forget about Loras and always included him in their talks or meals.

Garlan gazed sadly at his sleeping brother and tucked the blanket higher around him when Loras shivered in his sleep. There were not a lot of people who knew of Loras's insecurities concerning Renly and their relationship. Garlan knew, of course, while Margaery probably suspected, and their grandmother could get anyone to spill their secrets if she set her mind to it. Sometimes Garlan wondered if their father realized how much Renly meant to Loras. Loras had always been his favorite son and the revelation of his relationship with Renly had put a slight dent into Mace's plans for Loras's future. Garlan could not help but suspect his father of intentionally marrying Margaery off to Renly in hope of breaking up Renly's relationship with Loras.

Sometimes Garlan wished that none of this had happened, that the Lannister woman had been content with her husband instead of desiring her twin and murdering Robert. Garlan wanted nothing more than for his little brother to be happy, and Loras was only happy with Renly. He had always hoped for them to have the chance to grow old together in Storm's End, far away from King's Landing and its deadly politics. But that future was almost lost now and would have been completely if Stannis's attempt on Renly's life had succeeded that night. Garlan dared not even try to think what Renly's death would have done to Loras. His brother would have survived, probably forced by their father to protect his family and especially his sister from Stannis, but Garlan was sure that Loras's spirit would have died together with Renly. It was nor hard to imagine Loras walking around as an empty shell when his brother was lying in his arms right now, distraught and sick with the thought that Renly would leave him.

"Garlan?" a voice asked quietly from the direction of the tent opening, and startled Garlan out of his thoughts. He was surprised but happy to recognize the voice as Renly's. He extricated himself carefully from Loras, making sure his brother was properly tucked in, and made his way over to his king.

"Your Grace," Garlan greeted with a slight bow when he stepped outside.

Renly grimaced. "Don't call me that. I've come to loathe that title."

Garlan inclined his head. "Renly," he said. "I assume you're looking for my brother."

Renly's eyes grew wide and he nodded. "Yes. Is he here?"

"He is," Garlan said. "He's sleeping right now."

Renly's shoulders slumped. He sighed. "I should probably let him sleep. I'll talk with him tomorrow."

Before Renly could turn around Garlan grabbed him by the arm. "Oh no, you won't. You're here now, you will stay." With that, Garlan pulled him into the tent and closed the flap behind them. Renly took a step towards where Loras's mop of soft brown curls was just barely visibly above the blanket, but Garlan stopped him. "No. First, we need to talk."

Renly actually looked scared at the prospect of what a talk with Loras's brother could mean. Garlan could not help but laugh quietly. "Don't worry, I won't rip your head off."

"I wouldn't blame you if you did," Renly replied, glancing at Loras's sleeping form. "I'd deserve it, and probably more."

Garlan nodded. "So you realize what did to Loras." It was not a question.

Renly sighed. "Where to begin? I mocked him, blamed him for saving my life, threatened to take away his position as Lord Commander, pulled rank … The list is endless."

"So you fought," Garlan surmised. "And you've ignored Loras and put your positions between you. I'm not saying that was wise or clever, but I can understand your anger as King towards your Lord Commander for ignoring your orders."

Renly looked taken aback. "You can?"

Garlan laughed quietly. "I know you, Renly. You can be quite hotheaded sometimes. You tend to speak first and think later. You're also not one to address unpleasant feelings. You'd rather ignore them, and that's exactly what you did with Loras today, because you know you had right to be angry, but that taking your anger out on him the way you did it was wrong."

"When I pulled rank," Renly said dejectedly. "I didn't even give him a chance to explain himself."

"Exactly." Garlan nodded towards Loras. "He's addressed you the whole time he's been here as 'the king', as if he's scared to utter your name."

Renly buried his face in his hands. "I never meant for this to happen, Garlan. For all this to come between us."

Garlan put a comforting hand on Renly's shoulder. "I know that, Renly. But I also know that Loras doesn't. He's hurting because of everything you said and did or didn't do. And I do not only mean tonight."

Renly looked up. "I don't understand," he said, confused. "I never hurt him before this day. We never even fought once in all the time we've been together, not truly, not like this."

Garlan waited a moment to order his thoughts. He made sure that Loras was still sleeping when he asked, "Did he ever tell you how … threatened he feels when he sees you with Margaery?"

Renly's eyes widened in shock. "No," he whispered.

"He does," Garlan said. "He hates to see the two of you together. You have no idea how truly a couple you and Margaery look when you're in public. You seem so happy together, sharing glances, secretive smiles. When you kiss her even I have trouble believing you two are not madly in love even though I know the truth. Just imagine how Loras must feel when he sees all this and more."

"Probably not too good," Renly said dismally.

"No," Garlan agreed. "Loras has told me that he thinks Margaery is everything you need because she's basically a female version of him. My brother believes he's already lost you."

Renly shook his head vehemently. "But that's not true! Margaery is lovely, yes, but I don't love her! No one could ever compete with Loras. He means everything to me."

Garlan smiled at him. "And that's exactly what you have to tell him, Renly, what you have to make him believe. Because right now you ignoring him all day, threatening to dismiss him from his Kingsguard duties, was the final straw for him. He's so worn down by this whole charade that he doesn't know what's real and what's not anymore. I'm afraid today may have been too much for him."

Renly clenched his eyes shut tight for a moment. When he opened them once more Garlan could see a new resolve shining in them. "I'll put him back together again," he swore. "I'll show him what he means to me, and I'll make sure he never doubts his place in my life or in my heart again."

"I'll hold you to that," Garlan said with a smile before his expression turned serious again. "And I think you should also talk to Margaery when we reach Bitterbridge. I know she's aware of Loras's feelings for you but I fear she's falling a little bit in love with you as well. You've got to stop being a perfect husband in public. All these affectionate gestures have to end. Margaery may be a little heartbroken when you remind her of the truth, but in the end it will be better for all if she knows her place, especially for Loras."

Renly nodded, even though he did not look happy about it. "If it's not too much to ask, would you consider being present when I talk to her? I don't think Loras needs to hear what will be said, but someone of her family should be there for her nonetheless."

"Of course," Garlan said. "But don't worry about Margaery's feelings too much. She'll get over it pretty soon, trust me."

Renly's eyes flitted over to Loras's sleeping form, huddled under the blanket and still shivering visibly even though the evening was warm and the tent almost stifling. "She will. And I have the most precious rose of Highgarden to worry about. I can't believe I let Stannis almost break us."

"It's not too late, Renly," Garlan assured. "Go to Loras, sit with him. Let him see the love you bear for him and only him. That's all he needs right now." He smiled encouragingly. "I'll leave you alone." He bowed and made to leave the tent.

"Garlan, wait," Renly called. When Garlan turned back around, he said, "Thank you. For everything. Especially for telling me about Loras's feelings regarding Margaery and me. I really had no idea."

"Just make things right again. Make him happy, Renly. He deserves that much."

"I will," Renly promised. "If you want to you can use my tent this night. I have a feeling it will be unoccupied."

With a wink Renly turned his back on Garlan and faced Loras. Garlan left with a chuckle on his lips, knowing that Renly would spend this night at Loras's side, and hopefully all other nights to come. If there was anything good about this whole wretched situation it was the new awareness Renly had of Loras's innermost feelings fears. Garlan had no doubts for the future that Renly would make sure to spend as much time with Loras as possible and to stop any unnecessary public displays of affections regarding Margaery.

_And maybe Loras will finally get the chance to shine again_, Garlan thought as he made his way over to Renly's new tent on the other side of the clearing. _Maybe he will stand proud and tall once more in public, not allowing Margaery to force him back into the shadows._ But more than anything, Garlan longed to see a smile reaching Loras's eyes again.


	6. The Keeper of Hearts and Roses

**Title: **A House of Dreams and Hopes

**Author: **Ailendolin

**Rating: **T (PG-13) … just to be sure.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything in this story. The setting and characters in this story belong to George R.R. Martin and I do not make any profit with this and mean no disrespect.

**Summary: **Spoilers and AU for ACoK: There are many different realities. In this one, Loras has the chance to change his fate and built a future with Renly. RenlyxLoras

**Word Count: **3280

**Total Word Count: **17,146

**Warning: **Spoilers for ACoK, AU

**Author's Notes: **Here it is: the final chapter. I'd like to thank everyone who's read and reviewed this story and put it in their favourites or alerts. I'm very glad some people enjoyed it because I had a lot of fun writing it. I hope you'll enjoy the last chapter just as much. Like I've said before, it contains a lot of fluff (I feel like that should be a warning, since this chapter is so full of it *lol*) and Loras and Renly finally talk things out. So, this is basically the comfort chapter to all the hurt that was before. This story is finished with this chapter and so far I don't intend to write a sequel. I may, however, at some point when university life isn't so hectic write another Loras/Renly story. There's a plot bunny in my head about a crossover with Once Upon A Time that's stubbornly persistent. So, you may hear of me again ^^ Now, all that's left for me to say is: enjoy this chapter, and enjoy the second season of GoT!

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><p><strong>A House of Dreams and Hopes<strong>

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><p><strong>The Keeper of Hearts and Roses<strong>

For a while, all Renly could do was stare at Loras's restless form underneath the blanket. It was easy to see that Loras was not sleeping peacefully and Renly's heart ached with the knowledge that he was the cause for his lover's distress. Yet it took Renly a moment to find the strength and courage to walk over to Loras, now that he was alone with him. His mind was a jumbled mess, reflecting on his own actions and Garlan's words. Renly knew that Garlan was right: he had a tendency to not discuss personal matters, feelings and emotions, and instead ignored and buried them until the problem solved itself, no matter how long that took. This time, however, his reluctance to deal with matters of the heart was the cause of his problems, and Loras was the one who paid the price.

He carefully sat down next to Loras on the ground and gently carded his hand through brown locks and curls damp from rain and sweat. Loras's body stilled, as if sensing that his lover was now there to take care of him, and his face turned towards the warm and familiar touch. Renly smiled at that, but his smile turned sad when he realized how much Loras trusted him, even unconsciously and in his sleep. Before today, he had thought that trust between them was a given, something that came naturally with their relationship. Now it seemed like a precious thing, something that should be carefully handled and kept safe. For the first time since he became king Renly understood that Loras trusted him not only enough to lead all the people in Westeros, but that he trusted him to make the right decisions for their relationship, to know the difference between Loras, the Knight of Flowers and the Lord Commander of the Rainbow Guard. And today, Renly had managed to betray that trust by using Loras's position against him and getting their private lives tangled up in all of this.

Renly sighed. He wondered why it had taken Brienne and Garlan to make him see how much he was hurting Loras. He used to be able to tell when something was bothering his lover, when he had said something that Loras did not like. Loras had been an open book to him, even when he had first appeared in front of Renly to become his new squire. _But then_, Renly thought, _I was only Lord of Storm's End then and not a king yet. _Everything had changed the moment he became king. His duties had to always come first and Loras and their relationship had to take a step back and make room for Margaery at Renly's side and in their life. Renly wiped a tired hand across his face. If he could he would give up his claim and just go back to the way things were before all this had happened. In the end, the Seven Kingdoms were not worth it.

When he looked down he found Loras staring back at him with green eyes bright with fever, looking younger and more open than Renly had ever seen him. For the first time since he had known him Loras looked vulnerable, as if he was awaiting his final judgment. Something clenched painfully in Renly's chest, knowing that he had put that look there.

Renly forced a smile on his lips, knowing that this was the moment, the only chance he had to save their relationship. He was scared of screwing it up just like he had screwed up everything that really mattered since that crown was put on his head. "Hey," he greeted quietly.

"Hey," Loras said back, voice hoarse. He then seemed to remember what had happened, for his whole posture went rigid and tense and he tried to sit up. "I – I mean, Your Grace." He lowered his eyes in submission.

Renly bit his lip and willed the tears that gathered in his eyes to vanish. "No, Loras. Look at me." Obediently, Loras raised his eyes and Renly could have cursed himself for making his request sound like an order. He shook his head. "I seem to be doing everything wrong these days."

Loras looked at him in confusion, not knowing what to do with this statement. Finally he said, "No, Your Grace, you are a good king."

Renly laughed hollowly at that. "A good king I may be, but I'm a horrible friend and lover, don't you think so?" Loras looked taken aback. His arms were trembling with the effort to hold himself upright. "Come, let me help you." Once Loras was sitting up properly Renly unclasped the rose brooch on his chest and once more took off Loras's cloak from beneath his own. "I never thanked you for keeping me warm and dry today," he said and draped the cloak around Loras's shoulders. Next, he took off his own cloak and clasped the stag-shaped brooch beneath Loras's chin. "And I never thanked you for saving my life." He looked deeply into the eyes of his lover. "Thank you, Loras."

Loras stared at the cloaks for a moment before he wrapped Renly's tight around himself. "There's no need to thank me, Your Grace."

Renly took Loras's icy hand in his and held it close. "There is every need. You calling me by that title is proof of that. Call me Renly again, Loras. Please."

"Renly," Loras whispered, and Renly's heart soared with joy upon hearing his name from his lover's lips. He smiled warmly at Loras. "That wasn't so hard, now was it?"

Loras smiled back tentatively, but then a coughing fit took hold of him and left him doubled over in pain.

"I'm sorry," Renly said, putting an arm around Loras and giving him something to hold on to during the worst of it. "I'm so very sorry for the way I treated you today, Loras. You're sick because of me."

"Not your fault," Loras whispered hoarsely.

Renly wondered what he had done to deserve someone like Loras in his life. He leaned his forehead against Loras's temple and closed his eyes. "Yes, it is. It is my fault that you're miserable, and have been for quite some time. I am sorry for that and I hope you can forgive me."

He felt Loras lean into the touch and curl up against his chest. "I'm just happy that you're here."

Renly lost the fight against his tears when he heard those soft words being spoken so honestly and truthfully. Because this was all that Loras had ever wanted: having Renly near, having him close, simply _having_ him. It was such a simple wish and even that was denied him and Loras knew it. He was always waiting for Renly to take the first step and never asked him to come to him or stay with him. No, instead he even persuaded Renly to spend time with Margaery, because Margaery was his wife and his queen and that was how things were supposed to be. Realizing how grateful Loras was for every minute Renly spent with him only made the tears fall faster.

"I'll always be here," Renly swore. His voice was choked and his vision blurry. "I will always be there for you, and I will always be with you, Loras. Do not ever doubt that."

Loras opened his eyes and gazed sadly at his hands. "Don't say that. You have Margaery to think about."

Renly shook his head. "No, Loras. All I have to think about is you. All I ever think about is you. You're the love of my life, not your sister. She could never hope to be you. And do you want to know why?" Loras turned to look at him and nodded. Renly cupped his head between his hands and gently stroked his feverish cheeks with his thumbs. "Because you're you, Loras. You're unique, and special. To me, you're the most beautiful rose out of all the flowers of Highgarden. I fell in love with you because of your strengths and your weaknesses, because of your temper, your nightmares and because of your will to fight for what you believe is right." He placed a gentle kiss upon Loras's lips. "You are brilliant, Loras. Simply, wonderfully brilliant."

He watched the blush rose on Loras's cheeks, discernible even under the flush of fever, and knew that in the past he had not nearly often enough let Loras see the extent of his feelings for him. Renly vowed to change that. He knew that people told Loras all the time how handsome and talented he was, but no one knew him like Renly did; no one knew him inside out and loved him not despite his faults but because of them.

"I thought you were breaking up with me," Loras admitted in a choked voice. "Margaery is perfect for you. And then today happened, and –"

Renly silenced him with a slow kiss. When he drew back he pulled Loras into his arms. "I don't want perfect, Loras," Renly said and Loras leaned deeper into the embrace. "Your sister is beautiful, of course, but you of all people should know that I'd rather go for handsome knights than beautiful maidens."

Loras chuckled softly into Renly's chest and Renly rested his head on top of Loras's now almost dry curls. "I won't lie to you," he began, and tightened his arms reassuringly around Loras when his lover began to tense. "Margaery is my wife and we will have to act the part in public. And sooner or later an heir will be required of us. But," he said and pried Loras's clenched fists from his tunic and looked deeply into his eyes, willing his lover to see the honesty there, "I will never love her. There is only one Tyrell who holds my heart, and that is and always will be you. You are the most precious thing in the world to me, Loras. I don't want to win the Iron Throne if it means I will lose you in the end. Losing you, having you miserable is not a prize I am willing to pay."

Loras looked down on their clasped hands. His voice was scratchy when he tried to speak, and he had to clear his throat before trying a second time. "I don't know if I can stand in her shadow forever, Renly. I don't want to. I – I …"

When Loras trailed off Renly urged him to go on. "Say it, Loras. It's okay to want things for yourself."

Swallowing once, Loras closed his eyes and the tears spilled over. "I want to be with you, Renly," he whispered. "I don't want to stand aside, watching her live my life. I want you to hold me every night as we fall asleep together and I want to be there in the morning to watch you open your eyes. I want us to grow old together, in a little house somewhere in the Stormlands or in the Reach, with a garden and close to the woods." He squeezed Renly's hands tightly. "I don't want to feel lonely anymore."

Renly's heart broke watching Loras so desperately try to hold it together while baring his innermost wishes and dreams to him. "Come here," he said gently and Loras melted into his arms, head buried into his chest, trying to hide his tears. "Things will change," Renly promised. "I don't know if we will ever have that little house and grow old together, because not everyone gets the happy ending they wish for, but I know that I will do anything in my power to make you happy." He placed a soft kiss into Loras's dark locks. "You deserve that, and so much more."

"You do, too," Loras mumbled and Renly smiled fondly at his lover.

"You are what makes me happy," Renly said. "We will find a way to be happy together, despite the war, despite Margaery, despite me being king and despite Stannis and his witch with her shadows. And do you know where we'll start?"

Loras looked up at him with wide damp eyes, a tentatively hopeful smile on his lips, and shook his head. "No. Where will we start?"

Renly placed a small kiss to the corner of his mouth. "We will start right here tonight with you falling asleep safe and warm in my arms and waking up tomorrow with me at your side."

Loras's brow furrowed. "What about the rest of the camp? Surly they will notice. Brienne will, at the very least."

Renly kissed the other corner of Loras's mouth. "Then let them notice. I don't care. You're more important than any rumor they could spread."

"You really mean that," Loras said, baffled.

Renly smiled and nodded. "I do. And I did mean it when I said things would change. Unnecessary courtesies to Margaery will stop. There will be no more sneaking around in the middle of the night. I don't want you to have to leave my bed for your own in fear of oversleeping in the morning and someone seeing you." He gently stroked Loras's temple and watched his lover's eyes fall close under the soft caress. "I can't change the fact that my days now belong to Margaery and this whole charade. But I promise you right now, right here that the nights and mornings will belong to us again."

"I'd like that," Loras whispered, a faint smile on his lips. "It's more than I'd ever dared hope for."

"But it's still less than you deserve," Renly said regretfully, "and I am sorry for that. Maybe, in some years, when my line of succession is guaranteed, we can arrange for an accident to happen to me, leaving Margaery as Queen Regent and giving her a chance at her own happiness. We will vanish to our little house at the edge of a forest, far away from prying eyes and live happily ever after."

Loras smiled at him brilliantly, his whole face lighting up. "I'd like that even more." He closed the distance between himself and Renly. "I love you."

"I know," Renly nodded, smiling fondly. "I love you too, so much."

Loras leaned back against Renly's chest and let his head rest on his shoulder. They sat like that for a while, soaking up each other's warmth and smell and touch. Relief washed over Renly when he realized that for the first time in weeks he had done something right. Now that he had Loras once more in his arms, with all the time in the world, he became aware that Loras had not been the only one feeling lonely lately. He had missed these moments of quietness.

"I would marry you if I could, you know?" he whispered into Loras's hair.

Loras's breathing stopped for a moment. He pressed a lingering kiss into Renly's shoulder. "You would?"

Renly smiled into the brown curls. "In a heartbeat."

"Me too," Loras replied, wistfully.

Renly thought about this for a moment before he made a decision. He took off one of his rings, an heirloom of House Baratheon that once belonged to his mother. It was golden with antlers encircling a shimmering emerald, and Loras had admired it on more than one occasion.

"Will you marry me?" Renly asked and held the ring out to Loras.

Loras looked torn between shock and amusement. "What?"

"Marry me," Renly repeated with a wide smile.

"We can't really marry, Renly, you know that," Loras reminded him, but Renly could see that he was trying not to grin himself. He felt like a young boy again.

"Then think of this as a promise. A promise for a better future, for a future together, and a reminder of what led us there. With this I promise to always love you, Loras, no matter what happens."

Loras held out a trembling hand to him. "And I promise to always love you, until the day I die."

Renly slipped the ring onto Loras's finger and kissed his hand softly. "This means more than any vows in front of any gods," he told him, lips only millimeters away from Loras's mouth. "And you know why? Because marriage is not about rites and septons. It's about loving someone even in the darkest times and always being there for each other. That's what truly matters, and I'll never forget that again." He kissed Loras then, savoring the taste of his lover and just enjoying the moment. When they parted Loras gazed at him with such wonder and amazement that Renly fell in love with him all over again and kissed him once more.

"Are you happy?" Renly asked him and Loras nodded.

"I am," he said with a wide smile. "I can't remember the last time I've been this happy and content with my –" He sneezed. "-life."

Renly chuckled. "Now all we have to do is get you well again. What do you think about lying down? It's been a long day."

Loras nodded and together they lay down on Garlan's bedroll. When Loras was snuggled deep into Renly's cloak Renly pulled the blanket over them and pulled Loras close. His arm sneaked around Loras's waist and reached for his lover's hand, holding it tightly once he found it. His breath stirred Loras's hair and without seeing it he knew that Loras was smiling. It was something Loras had done far too little in the last few weeks.

"This is perfect," Loras mumbled sleepily in his arms.

"Yes, it is," Renly agreed. He buried his head in Loras's hair and breathed in deeply the scent of rain and roses.

"I've missed this," Loras admitted after a moment. "The little things, I mean, like cuddling or just holding hands. Being together, without it all being about a quick tumble in the dark." He seemed to realize what he just said, because he hurriedly added, "Not that the sex isn't great, because it is and I love it, but it's not what makes a relationship, is it? This, right here, this is what matters. These are the moments I really treasure."

Renly held him tighter and pressed a gentle kiss just behind Loras's ear. "And you will have many more moments like this."

"I'm looking forward to each and every one of them." Renly could hear the smile in Loras's voice. He felt Loras squeeze his hand.

"Now close your eyes," he murmured softly into Loras's ears. "Relax, and go to sleep."

Loras settled down in his arms, but after a moment Renly felt him tense once more. "You'll stay?" he heard Loras ask and Renly knew then that it would take time to convince Loras of his place in Renly's heart and life.

"I will be here, love," Renly promised and wrapped his arm tighter around Loras. "I'll stay with you tonight and every night to come. You won't have to wake up alone anymore."

He felt Loras relax back into the embrace. "Love you."

"I love you, too. Goodnight, Loras. Sweet dreams."

It did not take long for Loras's exhausted body to give into sleep and Renly finally allowed himself to close his eyes. This was the start of their future together, and he would do anything within his power to make that future come true, to give Loras that house full of dreams and hopes close to the woods he longed for, because more than anything Loras deserved to have Renly's full attention night and day at one point in their lives and Renly wanted nothing more than to see Loras smile until the end of their days.

* * *

><p><strong>The End<strong>


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